It was becoming all to familiar, waking up on countertops having no idea what happened before then. The house like cabin was calm and quite. I suspected it was sometime after mid-night.
On what day, I'm not sure. The cabin was filled with homey and personal paraphernalia, someone else's cabin i assume. I rolled off the counted on to my freezing bare feet. The floor was hard, chilly. The rest of the company and my sister appeared to be asleep as I walked around the large cabin examining its effects. I reached the door leading into a bathroom, I prepped the shower and began to take off my damp clothes. As I was taking off my shirt I stopped and stared into the mirror at a scar the size of a small child's hand. It was slightly raised, I ran my fingers across it remember the hours earlier. My hand pulled away from the scar and I clenched my hand into a fist, anger grew over my instantly, after a few minuted and some shed tears it passed and I stepped into the steaming shower. The head from the water pounding against my skin made me aware of ever ache and pain in my body. I sighed, without a movement I just stood there remembering everything that has happened as if I was reading a book. His hands crept over my skin gently, this time not attempting to shake me from my memory. I stayed completely focused on both. I could feel his warm body against mine, his hot breath as it trace over my back with his face. I remembered sitting in an old house living room watching a classic Disney movie, fried chicken in a plate placed on the tv table in front of me. My mother, he sweet warm feelings of happiness and contentment. Her love for me and her life. Suddenly I was traveling to the future, her death. Panic rolled over me. He turned my body around in the shower, the water pouring down my face. I was looking dead straight into his eyes, the memory long gone, I was here, in his arms naked in the shower, his body pressed up against mine. He was starring deep into me, as if not even realizing it was me there. He was feeling comfort and contentment. His desires and anger we pushed aside in his person as if he was not concerned with them at all. After a long pause his lips crushed mine in a gentle fashion I gave in and didn't pull away this time, I gave in completely as if all this were a dream and the challenges didn't exist in reality. I was never one for engaging in these motions, especially not ever enjoying with a man, but for the first time in my life I did. I felt ever touch and ever movement as if it was the last I would ever feel. Like the end of an era, as if my time would soon be forgotten and pass by. For the first time I realized that they were right I was less than I once was. I would never be able to protect her until the end. I would fade away like all the others in her life, I would be another thing she lost that was close to her. I wished for the world that this was not true, and I knew that no matter what I will fight along side her until what ever end, but my end will come before hers. The further we got to making her safe, the closer I got to my end. Small tears dripped from my eyes mixing with the shower water, he did not stop, my heart raced up and down, he moved so gracefully inside of my person. Time had passed and I awoke to a cold sun shinny morning. Without surprise cuffed to the bed post by my wrist. He lay asleep beside me. I fumbled with the middle chain of the cuffs attempting to break them. His hand slid up to mine and unlocked them, instantly i swiveled around with the gun he had previously given me, pointing it at his head. He grabbed the back of my hair yanking my head back. We sat there paused for a moment. Others in the house had awoken, it smelled as breakfast had been cooked and cleaned up. He spoke: "I will let you go, but listen to me now, the next time I see you I have no choice but to kill you, and I will." I held my position still, staring. In a quick move most could not see my arm was around my back the gun in his hand, his face now inches from mine. This time when he kissed me it was full of feeling; sadness, longing, defeat, a goodbye. This was the last kiss. He released me, myself stunned from the jolt of emotion. His expression gave that I had minutes to grab her and get out. I did so In his Shirt and boxers, I stumbled to pull on a pair of pants I assumed to belong to the owners of the house. He placed the gun in my hand as I stammered from the room and the cabin grabbing her on my way out we rushed through the woods, trudging the snow. We surfaced on a slightly busy highway. An elderly man in a station wagon, I presumed from the nineties pulled up to us as we stood there stunned.
From the moment we left the cabin in complete silence she felt nothing but disappointment, remorse, and confusion. She had given up on being curious to what it was we were doing and settled for just moving along silently. A life she had never wanted, a life she now would give away carelessly to anyone.
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